April 14th, 2007
Dear Readers,
I have applied to the President for the job of War Czar. My job application, which I just sent to the White House via email, is shown below.
Since it is now well-known that the White House Staff loses emails by the millions, I would appreciate it if my readers would send a copy of my JOB APPLICATION (as shown below) directly to the White House on my behalf, in case my copy gets lost on a White House server somewhere.
Also, I would greatly appreciate it if my newsletter subscribers (or anyone else who reads this and who would like to see me as "War Czar") send a LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION to the president, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Thank you in advance.
Sincerely,
Ace Hoffman
United States Citizen
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To: "George W. Bush" <comments@whitehouse.gov>
TOP SECRET / URGENT!
Application for Position of War Czar (seeking temporary employment, with potential for advancement)
Dear Mr. President,
I'm applying for the new job of War Czar.
I believe you need someone who will listen to the generals and find out which ones aren't fighting the "real" war. And you need someone who can figure out what, if anything, that "real" war is these days.
I have interviewed thousands of scientists, engineers, doctors, lawyers and other professionals, including firefighters, EMT technicians, police, Federal agents, and others. I can listen to your Generals, too.
I have studied war all my life. Of course I've seen hundreds of war movies, and I've read hundreds of books on military tactics, procedures, strategies, moral justifications, personal experiences, and failures (see partial list, below). War has a long history. Too long.
I've interviewed hundreds of combat veterans, and more than a few active-duty soldiers.
I've also fought AND BEAT one of your BEST "aces," a Top Gun instructor, who was out to kill himself, my wife, and me -- Randall "Duke" Cunningham, while he was a Congressional Representative on a self-imposed suicide mission in San Marcos, California. The crime was heinous, the cover-up is worse. He wanted to go to his grave, but now he's in jail. Ace: 1; Duke: 0.
I'm ALSO the veteran of numerous military psy-ops and propaganda operations against me because of my pro-DNA stance, including "the battle of Cassini," "the battle of San Onofre," "the battle to denounce India and Pakistan (and later, North Korea, and now, Iran)," and "the Price-Anderson Insurance War."
These struggles have provided me with an invaluable opportunity to know what it feels like to be under the scrutiny of YOUR OWN FORCES. The scrutiny was inappropriate, and never amounted to a charge, or even a threat of a charge, let alone a conviction. I am, and deserve to be, a free American.
A War Czar must understand the intentions of the enemy. A War Czar must be able to wait until the right moment to attack. A War Czar must give away nothing, trust no one, verify everything, and demand the proper paperwork for later historic verification and documentation of what really happened. We are, and will always be, a growing, learning nation. A War Czar must respect that.
You need someone who will deplore (and cease) the use of uranium munitions, which are illegal because they are poisonous, carcinogenic, mutagenic weapons of mass destruction which infuriate the enemy, poison the innocent, and destroy the DNA of our own unwitting troops and munitions workers.
You need someone who will stop the use of torture by our troops. Someone who is not impressed with rank or years of service, only ability and integrity.
I will ask the question: How could we lose a war, considering our overwhelming force AND our willingness to use abhorrent tactics such as: Shock-and-awe, torture of prisoners, environmental / infrastructure destruction on a massive scale, the "taking out" of whole city blocks -- or whole villages with men, women, children, innocent, and guilty alike -- to "catch" (a pseudonym for "kill") one terrorist we don't even know for sure is there that day? How many "suspected terrorists" that we've killed were innocent victims -- children even? One in twenty? One in ten? One in three? Most? Nobody knows, and it seems that in our current Pentagon, nobody cares. I'd stop that, too. I'll make them realize that every life is precious.
I would have a THOROUGH and OPEN review of procedures, top to bottom. We, the citizens, thought we gave the military every reasonable tool available in the world, more than enough soldiers, NO RULES (less rules than we wanted to give them, it turned out, for we EXPECTED them, at the very least, to uphold the Geneva Convention), and buckets of money -- and they botched it. We want to know how that happened.
At the very least, why didn't our military leaders tell you, Congress, and the American people that they didn't have the manpower, the weapons, the plan, the willpower, the moral authority, or the intelligence (in the real, lay person's sense of the word) to carry out the mission? And I don't mean just a hint. I mean really warn us. Were they fooled by their own propaganda? Or were they just too arrogant to be realistic?
I would demand that the military obey all environmental laws, both at home AND abroad.
I would determine WHY more "up-armored" Humvees weren't made available sooner. WHY don't the troops have better individual body armor, which everyone knows is readily available. WHY don't our tanks have active defense systems against Rocket Propelled Grenades, like Israeli tanks do.
WHY weren't the museums, libraries, universities, prisons -- and yes, even the zoos -- in Iraq secured and guarded during the invasion. It's not like we couldn't have guessed that priceless treasures would be stolen from once-guarded museums, that libraries with the oldest documents in civilization's history would be burned, and that endangered animals in cages would go unfed.
WHY did we destroy the infrastructure (water, power, sewage, etc.) as one of the first steps in a war that was only supposed to last a few weeks. Power, food and water are all STILL intermittent, at best, in Iraq. How can anyone feel we've freed them when they now live in terror and poverty?
Why did Abu Ghraib happen. What happened to OUR humanity. What was more than a decade of sanctions supposed to solve.
Government should protect the individual from all aggressors, including itself. Currently in America, the person in charge of the Pentagon is elected by the people (and called President). There is a very good reason for this: The people want the military to be COMPLETELY answerable to our will, which the President is elected to represent.
To try to destroy our system of government is treason. Therefore, my last act as War Czar would be to permanently remove the position of War Czar, in order to return normalcy to our government.
Please see additional information, below.
Sincerely,
Ace Hoffman
Carlsbad, CA
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Availability: I can start immediately
Salary: Negotiable
Work History: 1984 - present: Owner and Chief Programmer, The Animated Software Company. I develop educational software and have customers in scores of countries and thousands of schools and universities (see suggested URLs, below). Additional employment has included: Bank programmer, corporate database liason, census taker, fork lift operator / truck driver, etc.)
Physical Condition: Pretty good for 50. I mountainbike. 'Nuff said?
References: All of Congress shall suffice -- I assume this new War Czar position must be approved by them. You weren't going to try to sidestep confirmation hearings, were you?
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A small portion of the war books I've read are listed below:
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (especially important in light of your recent troop deployment extensions)
Victory Through Air Power by Seversky
The Art of War by Sun Tsu
Chickenhawk by Robert Mason
The Code Talkers by Chuck Bianchi
Hero of My Lai by Hugh Thompson
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
Sink the Bismark! by C. S. Forester
A Rumor of War by Philip Caputo
The Battle of the Somme by Christopher Martin
The War Against the Greens by David Helvarg
The 40 Minute War by Janet and Chris Morris ("a stupid book")
Commando Extraordinary by Charles Foley
The Charge of the Light Brigade by Cecil Woodham-Smith
Iwo Jima by Richard F. Newcomb
The First and the Last by Adolf Galland
Wing Leader by Group Captain J. E. "Johnny" Johnson
A Bridge Too Far by Cornelius Ryan
The Longest Day by Cornelius Ryan
The Bridge at Andau by James A. Michener
Men in Green Faces by Navy Seal Gene Wentz and B. Abell Jurus
The Night Hamburg Died by Martin Caidin (and many other Caidin books, such as Killer Station, Four Came Back, etc.)
Yamamoto by Edwin P. Hoyt
Soldiers of '44 by William P. McGivern
Dog Soldiers by Robert Stone
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Veteran's Day: A Combat Odyssey by Rod Kane
First Into Nagasaki by George Weller (and many other atomic bomb-related war books)
And hundreds of other war-related books, including, of course, Slaughterhouse Five. And may Kurt Vonnegut rest in peace, and may all the other old soldiers who have faded away also rest in peace, including my father, a combat veteran who, with his wife (my step-mother and a Quaker pacifist), wrote a scholarly study of his war memories called Archives of Memory (which I also read, of course). My family has served this country in wars from the Revolutionary War on. I'm sure you can check your records on THAT, Mr. President.
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Please visit these web sites (all created by "Ace" Hoffman):
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POISON FIRE USA: An animated history of major nuclear activities in the continental United States, including over 1500 data points, accurately placed in time and space:
How does a nuclear power plant work? Animations of PWRs and BWRs, praised by BOTH pro-nuker and anti-nuke experts for their technical accuracy:
Internet Glossary of Nuclear Terminology / "The Demon Hot Atom," a look at the history of nuclear power:
NO NUKES IN SPACE (what was on board Columbia?):
or try:
SCE Memo / One Bad Day At San Onofre (roll mouse over ONE BAD DAY and leave it there for a minute or two to watch an animation of several disastrous events take place at San Onofre):
List of every nuclear power plant in America, with history, local activist organizations, plant specifications, etc.:
List of hundreds of books and videos about nuclear issues in my collection (many of which I've read, but not all):
Learn about The Effects of Nuclear War here (Mr. Bush, you really need to know this!):
Depleted Uranium: The Malignant Bullet (this too):
Animated Periodic Table of the Elements (Adobe Site of the Day, November 7th, 2006):
Selected Pump Animations with full frame control (designed specifically for Navy training):
"All About Pumps" educational software tutorial (author and programmer, currently used by military training institutions and universities all around the world):
"Statistics Explained" educational software tutorial (co-author and programmer, now part of a best-selling educational software collection):
"The Heart: The Engine of Life" educational tutorial (co-author and programer, first released in 1986, downloaded millions of times):
All four of the educational products require passwords to be entered once:
ZINC (for the Animated Periodic Table)
MR. PUMP (for All About Pumps)
ANOVA (for Statistics Explained)
AORTA (for The Engine of Life)
The programs also ask for a "login ID," but that can be anything in the current releases.
Also please read: Tritium Explained (why "Low Level Radiation" can be disproportionately harmful):
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Contact information for Ace Hoffman:
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